- Name: Cubbie
- Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
My memory only keeps stuff that it wants to keep. Weird. I'm a bit of amnesiac.
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Moved to Blather.cheetahcub.org!
Hello! This blog has been moved to http://blather.cheetahcub.org
My mom hates cats
Recently I found out that my mom, she hates cats. And kitties. I find it disturbing, for I'm a cat lover. Here's the story:
15 years ago, we had a stray cat, SiMeow. She's not cute, selfish and has a temper of her own. But she's the most elegant cat ever. And my mom? She's just neutral to SiMeow, ignorance is bliss huh? My mom allowed her to stay after many persuasions from me and my brother. When SiMeow died 7 years later, I was devastated. But she was old. And she was really courteous as she knew she was dying.. she left us, to "lay" her body somehwhere else. A few days before her dissappearance, I wasn't allowed to stroke or touch her because she was suspected of having a disease, but she was just getting older, shedding fur and all. I regretted not having to pamper her for the final time. Rest in peace, SiMeow.
1 day ago, a stray orange kitty turned up at our front door. She was really cute, had a great attitude and very polite when she asks for food. She was playful too. Everything you'd want in a cat is being reflected in her. She even pooped at the correct place, our toilet. I just had to pick the newspapers up, threw it away and wash clean. You don't even have to train her. My mom came home to find the cat food in the bowl on the floor and she went hysterical. Asking me to not allow the kitty in the house again. I said okay. And I thought her anger would go away just like that. On the next day, which is today, she started mopping the floor, when she could ask me to do it as a punishment, she did it anyway. That leaves me flabbergasted, because she did it while complaining non-stop. I was already sad when yesterday I had to shout, push and shoo the kitty out of our house everytime she tried to go back in and this?! The same person who was playing with her happily that day, one can imagine how shocked and surprised the kitty was at that time. I was hurt, she was hurt. I was holding back my tears when I observed her through the door's peephole. She was waiting just outside our gate.
Excuse me while I wipe my tears.
"Yo, I'm L!"
Hee hee. Please don't kill me, Jackie! But this pic is just too funny..
The Things That I Hate
Maybe not the word "hate".. but "get annoyed with" is the better choice, huh?
Firstly, it's not a rant or a way that I can get attention with whoever that is reading this. Somehow, I have to let it out - clearing my mind as I type this and hoping I won't be coping with it in the future.
I feel like I always have the ultimate grudge on people. No matter who they are, whether they're on a close relations with me - or not. My family sees this the most. I know because whenever I'm on the phone with a friend I'll be sounding like the friendliest/most caring being on earth. And when I dropped the call, they will look away while hearing me grumble something bad about that friend earlier. I grumble a lot, especially to my mom. Poor mummy. I'd be telling her the worst ever gossips about him/her and laugh about it. And man I'd think - that felt so great. Yes.. that's the real Cubbie. The Cubbie that everyone thinks is nice.. but worry no more, she's not as nice as you think. Or maybe one or two of you have seen that side of me and have that little thought at the back of your head - trust it, it's true.
I know that when I speak ill of someone, it is actually an escape for me to face my own reality. That I'm no better than them! Of course, everyone has flaws and whatnots. BUT in my case I have to think and dig out that someone's flaws, talk about it, to make myself feel like I'm one step above them. How rotten can I be? It's very much like I can never get enough of how "great" I am compared to others. Or how "small". When I couldn't find flaws on that person, I'll be so down because there is no other way I could pick on that person to feel good about myself. This attitude has got to change..
I still get annoyed with things people do. Small little things like grammatical error or that person being too concerned about me (I'd feel like he/she is comparing us) or that person ignores me.. and the list of things that I hate just gets more and more. If you'd give me a book the size of a dictionary I could fill it all up for u. Starting with any person with the letter A as their initial.
It'll probably start with the line:
I hate YOU because YOU (fill in the rest)...!
Some of the examples:
-talk like a fake too much, man what's up with your fake accent?!
-are too blur, stupid
-cannot even answer my question properly?! Fux that.
-wear that kinda -what's that thing that's showing up on your butt? Urgh.
-walk like a duck - either too fast. or too slow.
-copy me! stop copying what I do. Doh. Get a life.
-eat like a perfect gentleman/lady - there's no need to be like a stuck up rich brat and make me feel like some jakun, ass hole.
-go on and on. shutdanonsensebabbling.
-expect me to know everything?! I'm not someone that's psychic, man.
And.. those examples are for real. :P Enjoy reading it? Cause it's straight from me mind whenever people annoys me with stuff like that. I'm sooooo immatured, I know.
GDC's Game Seminar 2006
It's called Future Games Developer Seminar, actually.
I did not expect much from this seminar at first. Just a simple talk, simple presentation, critique and comment session, and that's all. BUT, it turned out to be a blast! For me, that is. Haha. Mainly because the game that I shared with them, which is my Final Year Project also, was well-received. I was really intoxicated with happiness and was high when they were attentive and laughed "HAHAHAx100" along at jokes that I made, intentionally or not. And after all of that, a guy voted mine as the best presentation among all, I thank you truly! Never before I felt this appreciated at the work I've done with tremendous effort. Not when my Final Crit in MMU was pretty bad, the lecturers were not really convinced with my presentation and the game too. Haih, my mistake for being too nervous because of somebody. Ah, well..anyway back to the thing. The critiques made by Kevin Larken were in-depth, says he, my graphics should be more or less the same style overall. Well, I agreed with him, I got astrayed whenever I started doing extra game assets. Every single time too. I get influenced by other sources easily. That explains it! Hohoho. *Gets electrocuted* Should'nt have done that. But I think it was because it was my own game, and for the sake of having fun while doing it, I couldn't care less. I did not intend to sell it or be presented to the public, except for my beloved FCM friends and students. More or less because of it being a tribute to Mr Che Mat! I think Mr Che Mat has gotten more famous now. *Cough* Thanks to who? MEEEEEEEEEE, HA-HAA!! Just kidding.
I must congratulate Han Sing, for I've always been a fan of her cute game! I think her game really deserves all the attention, and the great support from Kevin himself. She could sell her game worldwide, if she wanted to! Yep, her game is this unique - I'd buy it if she started selling, haha, I hope she reads this. Presentations by Ellem and Carol were really good. I doubted the audiences' choices at first. Personally, I'd go for their games. I know the effort done by them. The agony of debugging the games in Flash.. and all the scripting stuff that I didn't have to go through thanks to my programmer, Cheng How, combining it with the effort done on the game assets.. it's like hell.
The summary is.. its a great day, meeting new game friends, and most of all meeting the real developers in the gaming industry. Thanks, Michael Ooi, Kevin Larken and well, I don't remember all. Great talk! Haha, although it's more to Q&A thing, but it was worth it - we didn't have to pay, muahahaha. And yup, I've gotta ask for pictures from Kelvin and Pei Ling. They took all the photos. Yes. I want the ones with Kevin Larken in it. Muahaha. Yep *fangirls* he is a great looking guy. He should be some superstar artist/singer - he has that potential. You asking me how he look like? Have you seen Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park? Take half of that and add another half of Edison Chen. There you go, Kevin Larken the Handsome. I drool at his muscles lots too. Hmm maybe I'll be his manager - all the money - slurps and kills all the other potential fangirls. I'm a bad manager alright.
Right, I told you it'd be a long long post. Gotta go off to eat. Too damn hungry. See yah in.....a month's time maybe! Muahhaha~
A year has gone....
0..Since my previous first post..
I've decided to make this post worthwhile. But mainly it's because I've been influenced by Hiyashi.
Go see her blog! Shameless plugging for her. Lols. Okay, from this sentence on I will be writing while I'm completely clueless of what I'll be thinking next. Kind of like speed writing. Wowwies!! Muahaha. Friends who know me in real life will be "what the"-ing at my choice of the blog's template - old fashioned and earth-colored theme does not really suit my appeal. Well to them, at least. Because in actual fact, I am not a modern kind of person. But before I explain further I've to point out that the earth-colored theme is also inspired by the savannah "feel" - so when I look at it I'll really feel like I'm a cheetah cub playing around the african ground. Back to the topic where I am not modern. I am NOT modernized.. to be exact. I like the traditional ways of doing things, does not like shortcuts and tend to think things as simple as I could. And I like philosophy too. Sometimes, I feel like I'm a 80 year old being who knows everything and simply observing others going on with their experiences. But I never show this side of me to anyone that knows me. It's boring you know. Imagine having an old-fashioned old folk around you.. You'll be bored to death. I'm not saying this to hurt anyone but it is true.
So the outer image of that old folk me is the modernized me. It's a total opposite! But I like to be that way - pretend not know every subject on discussion, be clueless and be asking stupid simple questions which I already know the answer of - to just simply be amused by my friends' thoughts and replies. I think that is what caused my friends to be unsure of me and I cannot convince them no matter what. When they want an answer or an opinion from me, it will tend to have a question mark at the end. For example : "Hey what do you think of that work of that artwork?" Reply: "(A whole shytload of logical crap), but I'm not sure myself, maybe the artist is just trying another style?" (Back to nothing where the "whole shytload of logical crap" begins to sound like real crap) Whereas for my friends, it will be straight out confident answers/opinions. It's hard to get anything convincing from me. Haha. Don't get frustrated, my friends!
The another reason why I've chosen this theme - the Renaisannce feel. I felt like I'm William Shakespeare <- correct spelling? writing off his own blog on his diary - in which the case is a tangible thing - a real book. Not just any book, but the book with nice thick hardcover and the papers are texturized brown paper. Whoa and the handwriting's curtsived with black pen dipped with hand-made ink. I've always loved Renaisannce art - the romance behind every painting and sculptures. Especially the ones with Greek myth as their theme. Hermes Love! To start with, I love Greek myth, that was why I came to love the Renaisannce paintings with Greek myth as their subject, it's like seeing your favourite Gods coming to live! Drools. And that was what made me love astronomy too. The stories of each constellations really got me excited the first time I read them. So at that time (was 15) I needed some conformation, do the stars in the book really exists? So I started to look out for constellations. During that time, I became so obsessed with it, I bought a small blue notebook (very pretty with stars as the theme) and a watch that has two compartments - one - a normal watch and when you open it you'll be looking at a compass. Nifty, isn't it? But the watch died on me last two years ago. Sobs. Partly it was my fault because I fell down the stairs and knocked it on the railings. But anyway, when I had those gadgets on hand, I'll be charting up stars and the only constellation that I know of that time was Orion! Thanks, Orion! You've been a great star-pointer that lead me to other constellations. I was such a noob. Haha. Now, I've seen lots of constellations - and know each of them, and be very happy when I find out constellations that I seen before but did not know what it was. It's such a PLEASURE finding out about them. And meteors too! I almost cried when I saw the Perseids meteor shower during July, 2002. Lucky for me, because at that time, the sky were so damn clear and be able to share the experience with my friends in campus. I've seen the planet Mars first, then followed by Venus, Jupiter and a bit of Saturn. Just a tiny winky star-like thing that I've only seen it once with my binoculars. The sky was so clear in my hometown that time. Woohoo. Wee, that sums up my ramblings - pointless ones. And will show to Jovin that I can actually write something up. I'm too lazy, hahah. Byebye~ see you in the next post and be bored again because I assure you it's gonne be a long long post too. Muahahhaha!
testing testing testing testing testing testing TEstTing
Just testing it.